.
I’m sure you’ve heard a lot of rumors. You’ve heard that
there are wicked soldiers all over the place hollering commands over your head.
You’ve heard that they make you do frog jumps and squats until your legs break,
or they make you lie down in your full khaki on a mattress in the middle of the
football field under the blazing hot afternoon sun as punishment. You’ve heard
that you have to wake up at 4:00am every day and do excruciating physical
exercise and you have to wear the same clothes day and night for 3 weeks
straight. You’ve also probably heard rumors that people collapse from the
stress and the pressure and some people just call it quits and go home. Well, I’m
sorry to disappoint you, these are not rumors…They are true.
The NYSC orientation camp is 3 weeks of the most intense
physical and mental discipline that most Nigerians will ever face in their
life. More stressful than your 4 or 5 years in the university and any camp
you’ve ever attended before. No amount of suffering in university prepares you
for this. However, it’s not all suffering. The irony of it is that it is in
fact an enjoyable time. 3 weeks of hell but when it’s over almost everyone has
tears in their eyes because they don’t want to go home. It’s like magic. Anyways, you will find out all of that when
you experience it firsthand. I however am here as a faithful friend and
confidant to give you guys and girls useful tips on not just how to survive the
3 weeks NYSC orientation camp, but actually how to make the most of it.
Yes, you get a
handbook with rules and regulations, and yes you get instructions from your
university and from advisors. By now you should already know the basics- carry
all your documents, call up letter, statement of result, blah blah blah for
registration and clearance, get to camp on time so you can choose the best bed
etcetera. But I’m here to tell you the stuff that no one else will tell you…
the things that they don’t warn you about. So, be smart, keep your head up and
follow my advice, I trust you will make it out in one piece, and you will be
glad you did. So here are my 10 tips, to aid your survival.
1.
DO NOT SKIP CAMP IF YOU CAN AVOID IT
Apart from the fact
that this is a wimps approach to life, it really does you no good. Except if you actually have a medical condition
or out of extreme necessity, don’t skip NYSC camp. No matter how hard you’ve
heard camp is, millions of Nigerian graduates have done it and came out alive.
Don’t be scared. You will survive. In fact, it’s only the early part of camp
that is really difficult. Towards the end of it, you’ve already gotten the
rhythm so you start to enjoy it. There’s another reason why you shouldn’t skip
out on camp. It’s because, during those 3 weeks in camp, you will get to meet
people; all kinds of Nigerians from different corners of the country that you
would ordinarily not meet on a day to day basis. Within those 3 weeks is where
you are going to make the friends, and these are friends that you will need and
cherish for the rest of your life. Friends that will help you through the next
one year of NYSC and probably later in life. So don’t miss camp.
2.
DO NOT CARRY A LOT OF LUGGAGE.
The first reason for this is because there is always a
camp market (aka Mami Market) in every camp across the country, and you can get
anything and everything you need from the camp market at affordable prices. So
there’s no need going to market in a hectic frenzy before getting to camp. But
more importantly, the second reason is this; from the moment you get into the
gates of the NYSC camp the soldiers are going to start your drilling by
ridiculing you based on the amount of luggage you bring. They make it a sport
of making fresh corpers carry their luggage on their head and sprint (and trust
me, they will not pardon you because you brought a lot of luggage, in fact they
look forward to the people who brought a lot of luggage to give them the
entertainment they are looking for.) so, heed my advice, do not carry plenty of
luggage. You don’t want to start camp with a backache. In fact, had I known I
would have gone to camp with only my wallet and documents. Anyway, that’s for
that.
3.
DO NOT PAY FOR ANYTHING AT THE GATE.
A whole bunch of guys are going to meet you at the gate
and tell you they are from this or that video outfit or photo studio and so you
should pay them an advance fee to register with them so that they can do video
coverage on your entire 3 weeks in camp. Well, you’ll be a sucker to fall for
that one (I know I did.) anyway, don’t pay for anything at the gate, you can
get it all inside the camp.
4.
DO NOT HAVE YOUR BATH FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
This one I’m sure
everyone is going to fall for. It’s the classic monkey-see-monkey-do thing. Everyone
gets up super early to rush to the taps at 4:00am just to get water to bathe. And
then what happens afterwards? You go to the field for physical exercise,
marching and drilling. And then you come back to your rooms sweaty and dirty. Save
yourself the hassle. Don’t be in a hurry to have your bath before dawn. You’re
going to need all the water you can get, so don’t have your bath first thing in
the morning. Bathe after morning drills.
5.
CARRY YOUR OWN WHITES, ONE PAIR OF SUNDAY ATTIRE AND STUFF.
If you’re going to be stuck wearing a white shirt and
white shorts for 3 weeks, you might as well be wearing a pair that fits. Anyway,
you are advised to carry your own set of whites simply because when you get to
camp it is most likely that the 2 pairs of whites that they give you won’t be
your size. Even if it is, it may not suit your taste. So carry your own pair. Plus
carry a set of Sunday attire. You’ll only wear it on Sundays from 6:00am till
12 noon.
But looking good is good business right?
6.
DO NOT WASH YOUR OWN CLOTHES (IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT.)
In 3 weeks of camp, one of the most common statements I heard
was “who took my shirt? I hung it right outside!” Anyway, an old friend once
told me that it’s better to pay someone else to wash your clothes than for you
to wash it yourself simply because, if your clothes get missing you can blame
the laundry guy, but if you lose them then you have yourself to blame. Losing a
white shirt becomes very easy when you are in a camp with 3000 people who are
all wearing white shirts. Save yourself the hassle, patronize a drycleaner. They’re
very affordable on camp.
7.
MIX UP WITH EVERYONE AROUND YOU.
NYSC is about socializing, and orientation camp is the
boiling pot. You will meet all sorts of people. Yorubas, Hausas, Ibos, Fulani,
Urhobos and every kind of tribe you can image from every corner of the country
(and maybe even from outside the country.) it’s a mix of every kind of person
from every sort of background so don’t stay all shelled up and sheltered in
your own little corner. Talk with strangers, hear their stories; tell them
yours. Go out and meet people. (Besides, it’s against the rules of camp for any
alumni of school to hold group meetings on camp, punishable by law. don’t say I
didn’t warn you.) Anyway, I remember
being in a drama group on camp, one afternoon during rehearsals and a Hausa guy
received a phone call that Boko-Haram bombed a place close to his home; that
was when I realized how real the whole Boko-Haram menace was in Nigeria. Before
then it had only just been a story that I heard on the news, but that day I had
a glimpse of just how real such things are to some people.
8.
CARRY YOUR PHONES, BLACKBERRY, CHARGER ETC.
phones are useful
and necessary on camp. I had heard before that there was so much stealing that
went on in camp that I shouldn’t carry any expensive phone to camp. I felt so
bad when I got to camp and found out that everyone came along with their
blackberrys and iphones while I was holding a Nokia Torchlight. Anyways, a few
people lost their phones in camp but that’s bound to happen. I would advise you
to carry your blackberrys along but just be extra careful with it. (notice: I didn’t
mention ipads and laptops)
9.
ALWAYS BE ON YOUR PLATOON OFFICERS GOOD SIDE. After 3 weeks of camp you and your camp buddies are going
to be flung across all the different corners of your state. Guess who does the
flinging? You guessed right if you thought Platoon Officer. Your platoon
officer is the most relevant person to you on camp. In my experience on camp I was
very close to my platoon officer and I found out a lot of things from my
afternoons in his office. The first thing I learnt was that posting was not
really random as many people think- its platoon officers that do it. And
sometimes when certain people get on their nerves they can just simply post
them to the most remote village in the state. Your platoon officer is one
person you don’t want to upset. Always be on his good side. Who knows, maybe if
you ask nicely he might just post you to wherever you want to go. (*hint*)
10.
MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE DOCTORS: (I SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST.)
This is a patented secret by yours truly. Doctors are THE
MOST influential people on camp outside of the officials. And they can be of
great help to you. You will need them if you ever want to get a medical excuse
to leave camp, or if you just need a few licks on vitamin C on a hot afternoon.
For those morning when you just can’t take another day of marching, it’s good
to have a doctor friend who can hook you up with a bed in the clinic (even if
it’s just for 10 minutes.) anyways, don’t say you heard it from me. But if I were
you I would make friends with the doctors.
So there you have it. My ten tips for surviving NYSC
orientation camp. And as always there are two things involved- if you follow my
tips you are safe… but if you don’t, there are two things involved (lol, im
just kidding.) Anyway, I wish you a swelled time at NYSC orientation.
I remain Teniola, spreading my love
to you.
(THIS ARTICLE IS DEDICATED TO THE
UNIVERSITY OF BENIN FACULTY OF LAW GRADUATING CLASS OF 2012; THE MOST ERUDITE
SET OF LAWYERS EVER TO HAVE PASSED TO THE FACULTY OF LAW UNIBEN, WHICH AFTER 30
YEARS PRODUCED THE ONLY FIRST-CLASS GRADUATE IN THEIR SET)
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